No-Bake-Eternal-Wait Banana Chocolate Cake

Ingredients

Makes a 7" cake 

• 1 cup pistachios
• 1 cup cashews
• 8 pieces of dried organic apricots, sliced
• 5 large ripe bananas
• 250g of the thickest greek yogurt you have available (I used TOTAL)
• 7 tbsp cocoa powder
• 3 tbsp coconut sugar
• 4 soft avocados
• 1 cup almond milk
• Shitloads of patience (it pays off, promise)

Method

To make crust, pulse mixture of pistachios, cashews and apricots in a food processor. Result should be slightly sticky. Grease springform cake tin (those with the clasp which makes it easier to remove after) with coconut oil slightly, and press nut/apricot mixture evenly on the base of the cake tin. Leave in freezer.

In a large mixing bowl, mix greek yogurt and bananas until even. Take out cake tin and pour banana mixture over the crust, leaving it to settle in the freezer for at least five hours or overnight. 

After aforementioned, eternal wait, pulse avocados until it is smooth and fine enough to become an easy spread on toast. In a large mixing bowl with an electric mixer, combine avocado with cocoa powder and coconut sugar. Slowly add milk in by half cups and mix until even. Result should resemble a mousse. Remove cake tin from the freezer, spread chocolate mixture over frozen banana cake and send it back into the freezer. Freeze overnight. Hold back tears while waiting. 

The next day, wake up and remove cake from tin. Set aside for about 20 minutes to allow it to cool slightly. Use either herculean strength, an electric chainsaw, or a good knife to get through the cake. Serve and enjoy.